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First Interception
Commercial Medium Orbit - Pz-Zazz The spaceways here tend to be downright clogged, with spaceships being forced to take parking orbits for hours as they wait for permisssion to land. Some go ahead and try it, anyway. Collisions are not uncommon. Of course, wiring a bit of moolah to the traffic controllers always seemed to speed things up. Sweepcraft and Sweepcraft escort a grimy, disreputable looking transport craft through the crowded section of orbit. Well, 'escort' is sort of a euphism since Brigand made it known to the smugglers pilotting that there would be at least two Sweeps flying alongside at all times and wouldn't hesitate to blast the transport to bits if they ever suspect it of deviating from the path chosen by the Decepticons. Autobot Heavy Cruiser hangs in space over Pz-Zazz, the only ship the Autobots have in this area that can stop the Decepticons in time! Autobot Heavy Cruiser broadcasts a message over general frequencies. "Attention, transport shuttle, this is the Autobot vessel Steelhaven. Power down your engines and submit to an inspection or we WILL open fire." True to its warning, the ship's guns swivel up and aim at teh transport. Sweepcraft is indignant! He radios over to the Steelhaven, furious. <> He powers up his weapons for good measure. Brigand swears. "Frak! Where did that gigantic Autobot warship come from?!" Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "It matters not. We must deal with it, now." Nightbeat was playing pool with Kup while Grimlock watched. Now, however, he is strapping on a bulky EVA pack to go fight Decepticon smugglers. Nightbeat feels safer now. He drawls over the radio, <> Has he already drawn a photon pistol behind his back? Yes, yes, he has. Sinnertwin says, "Sucks to be you guys. Gwahahaha!" Sweepcraft subtly alters his direction to increase the distance from Sunder. This is purely tactical - no sense in both of them getting blown out of the sky by one barrage. And not at all because he's less eager than his fellow Sweep to take on the heavily armed Steelhaven. He transmits to the transport. <> Brigand says, "Let's not start shooting yet, Sunder. Maybe if we're lucky we're dealing with some of those insufferably noble Autobots and they won't fire until we do." Sinnertwin says, "Wait, wait, you guys are Sweeps, right?" Sinnertwin says, "Or Swopes or Swoops or Swipps or Swiffers or whatever the /hell/ you things are called." Sinnertwin says, "..Soaps." Swindle helpfully suggests, "Swaps!" Sinnertwin says, "Swaps." Sinnertwin says, "Swoofs, maybe." Catechism says, "Subwoofers." Sinnertwin says, "Yes!" Sinnertwin says, "Swip Swaps" Autobot Heavy Cruiser replies, "Gee, DECEPTICONS, I wonder if this ship is carrying contraband? LET 'EM HAVE IT!" And on the command of the Autobot Kup, the Steelhaven, fully repaired, lets loose with all of its gun batteries. It's an impressive barrage of flak shells and laser beams. Frankly it would be pretty terrifying to most space jockeys to have to walk into it. On the command bridge, Kup watches the fireworks dourly, wondering how much good the ship could've done if it hadn't been stolen. Sinnertwin says, "Soups, perhaps." Catechism says, "Snoops." Sinnertwin says, "Scoops." Hun-Grrr says, ", drunkenly. "SOUPS."" Hun-Grrr drunkenly. "SOUPS." Sinnertwin says, "I said that already, idi-SIR." Hun-Grrr says, "Me turn your face into Soup, Sinnertwin." Sinnertwin says, "THAT REMINDS ME." Sinnertwin says, "Hun-Grrr, /sir/, have you made any back-up plans for the Terrorcons if you were to meet a...sudden and unexpected end?" Sinnertwin says, "You know, maybe a will." Hun-Grrr says, "Yes." Hun-Grrr says, "If I go offline, him Blot command Terrorcons." Hun-Grrr says, "Now leave Hun-Grrr alone. Me hitting on superior officer." Sinnertwin says, "It would be an hon-WHAT" Sinnertwin says, "WHAT!?" Sinnertwin says, "DOUBLE WHAT." Sinnertwin says, "Okay, well, what if BLOT meets a sudden and unexpected end?" Sinnertwin says, "Who will lead us then!?" Nightbeat really prefers to have a road under his feet or tyres. Space is so... so... nothing. He can't dig his heels in; can't follow the footprints. Also, space is /big/. Big enough to blow his mind, and Nightbeat's pretty sharp. He hugs the side of the Steelhaven as he floats along in space, the EVA keeping him more or less on track. And as big as space is? Space ships sure have some really big guns. Hun-Grrr says, "Cutthroat." Sinnertwin says, ".....And if /he/ dies?" Hun-Grrr says, "Rippersnapper." Sinnertwin says, "....amd then who?" Hun-Grrr says, "Motormaster." Catechism says, "So, when does Americon enter the chain?" Sinnertwin says, "Hrktjhjhfg" Hun-Grrr says, "Oh, right. Me forget. Americon -THEN- Motormaster." Sinnertwin says, "Well..." Cutthroat says, "Rrrk, haw, you, Sinnertwin am stupidest two-head dog thing ever." Sinnertwin says, "/Heaven forbid/ such a fate befalls the Terrorcons.." Sinnertwin says, "But if it does I proposeahostiletakeover." Hun-Grrr says, "Oh, that remind me." Hun-Grrr says, "Him Americon getting upgrades." Sinnertwin says, "WHAT!?" Hun-Grrr says, "Going to take him Sinnertwin's place." Sinnertwin says, "WHAT!?" Hun-Grrr says, "Him Sinnertwin going to fill in available space in Stunticons." Sinnertwin says, "WHHHAAAAAAATTTT!?" Hun-Grrr says, "It not so bad. Him Sinnertwin get upgrade first." Sinnertwin says, "Oh." Sinnertwin says, "Hrm.." Hun-Grrr says, "Him get upgrade with roller-skates so him can be stunticon." Cutthroat says, "But what am he do? None Stunticons am dead." Sinnertwin says, "OKAY, THAT'S IT." Catechism says, "I hear ramps are really fun, if you're a Stunticon." Sinnertwin says, "PUTTING FOOT DOWN NOW." Americon says, "It is true I am getting upgrades! Apparently I got 200 robot points for trying to save Galvatron on Charr, even though I didn't quite succeed!" Sinnertwin says, "RIGHT NOW." Cutthroat says, "Which foot?" Sinnertwin says, "SEE IT? THAT SINNERTWIN'S FOOT." Swindle says, "Hey, if Hun-Grrr dies it says right here in the by-laws, and I quote, "Heretofore in the event that the undersigned Hun-Grrr becomes deceased or permanently impaired beyond critical functioning, all rights, privileges, assets, quotas, goods, and debts shall fall to his nearest functioning relative as described below in paragraph 37 subsection beta," uh.. hold on let me find that.." Sinnertwin says, "IT DOWN NOW." Hun-Grrr says, "Not foot of Abominus!" Sinnertwin says, "NEW PROPOSAL" Sweepcraft banks quickly to avoid the flak and laser blasts, and guns his engines, preparing to return fire. <> the Sweep snarls, <> He attempts to cripple the craft with his laser-lasso. Combat: Sweepcraft misses Autobot Heavy Cruiser with his Laser Lasso attack! Cutthroat says, "..am stupid foot." Sinnertwin says, "Sinnertwin fight for rights to lead Terrorcons when Hun-Grrr gone!" Hun-Grrr says, "How about him Sinnertwin fight Hun-Grrr for right to stay in Terrorcons?" Sinnertwin says, "How about.." Cutthroat says, "Cutthroat not re-cog-nize rules of stupid foot." Sinnertwin says, "Hrm.." Sinnertwin says, "How about Sinnertwin beat EVERYONE FACE IN." Sweepcraft tries to weave through the array of fire but is struck almost immediately, spinning briefly in an involuntary barrel roll. When he finally regains control and levels out, he's trailing smoke from one of the spacepods of indeterminate purpose set towards the rear of his Sweepcraft form. "Nnnh!" He pulls up to Sunder momentarily and says, "If we lead our transport through here it'll get demolished! Let's test their defenses for blind spots. I'll go for the underside!" True to his word he speeds towards the Steelhaven, then dips at the last instant to avoid a headlong crash and skims along underneath it, firing a few tiny barrages at any turrets he sees along the way. Sinnertwin says, "Blot not have two heads! Cutthroat not have two heads!" Hun-Grrr says, "Me have suggestion for him Sinnertwin, first, though." Sinnertwin says, "SINNERTWIN RULES" Combat: Brigand sets his defense level to Guarded. Sinnertwin says, "/WHAT/" Cutthroat says, "Cutthroat am no need two-head!" Sinnertwin says, "Cutthroat need punch to neck." Swindle says, "Okay, here we go: "The process for determining the nearest functioning relative of Hun-Grrr is as follows:" Okay, that's a good start. Ahem. "Examine the contests of the dietary processing apparatus belonging to the deceased. Any functioning technological life form contained therein shall be deemed his successor." Huh, that's a little strange. Uh.. it keeps going. "In the event of multiple or partial contained technological lifeforms, preference shall be given to the larger lifeform or part."" Cutthroat says, "Cutthroat need rip two-head sSinnertwin throat ourt!" Hun-Grrr says, "Me think that him Sinnertwin should upgrade circuits . . . because him Sinnertwin have easiest chain to yank in Septicons!" Hun-Grrr says, "Bwahahahahhahaha!" Sinnertwin says, "THAT MAKE NO SENSE." Sinnertwin says, "ANRGY." Sinnertwin says, "SO ANGRY, CAN'T TALK RIGHT." Cutthroat says, "He am say you have flacid chain." Hun-Grrr says, "Talking like Terrorcon now!" Sinnertwin says, "NEED TO PUNCH SOMETHING NOW." Hun-Grrr says, "Quiet, him Cutthroat. Me kidding. If Hun-Grrr go offline, Sinnertwin get Terrorcons. Blot get sent to Mensaor cause me hate Motormaster." Hun-Grrr says, "Go find Autobot. Or Stunticon. That work too." Hun-Grrr says, "NOW." Hun-Grrr says, "Me very clearly say, me hitting on superior officer. You go away!" Swindle says, "Uh, chief, it says here if you croak that whoever you've eaten most recently is the new leader." Swindle says, "Why would you ever agree to this?" Sinnertwin says, "Hmpth!" Combat: Sweepcraft misses Autobot Heavy Cruiser with his Disruptor attack! Cutthroat says, "Cutthroat am thinking that Hun-Grrr not bogart supper officer." Brigand says, "Wow you weren't kidding about this thing being lethal" Sinnertwin says, "Cutthroat!" Sinnertwin says, "I have a plan.." Nightbeat does not lie. Except when he does. Cutthroat says, "You plan always suck." Sinnertwin says, "Shut up." Sinnertwin says, "Now listen.." Cutthroat says, "You face is suck too." Sinnertwin says, "Hrff..." Swindle says, "Gentlemen, please! Fighting never solved anything." Sinnertwin says, "Stupid bird..thing.." Hun-Grrr says, "Me have suggestion." Hun-Grrr says, "No, order." Cutthroat says, "Jeep-con am lie! Fighting solve /everything!/" Hun-Grrr says, "Me put Blot in big hole somewhere in Arizona desert. Go find and dig out." Hun-Grrr says, "Then bury again." Hun-Grrr says, "Then you learn to work togeather as Terrorcons." Sinnertwin says, "That's a stupid order." Hun-Grrr deadpan. "Excuse me?" Cutthroat says, "Order stupid as Sinnertwin." Sinnertwin says, "That's a great order." Hun-Grrr says, "That better." Kup leans back in the command chair, frowning. Seem to be doing pretty well against the Decepticons so far, but can't get too cocky. One might wonder how you can miss a giant space ship, but in the vast distances of space, and considering the distances sometimes involved, you can never be too sure. So it is that the Steelhaven manages to slink out of the way of the Sweeps' attacks, with but a few subtle adjustments that increase the distance between them by kilometers, and just enough to throw off their aim. Kup's reply--a plasma barrage--is swift. Combat: Autobot Heavy Cruiser misses Sweepcraft with its Plasma Turret attack! -7 Nightbeat decides to go for the shady ship that the Sweeps are guarding, rather than the Sweeps themselves. Of course, getting out there means risking that he gets caught in Kup's crossfire... which is pretty likely, given that Nightbeat has manage to torque off Kup again. Also, it means that the Sweeps might catch him and tear him apart, which is, again, less scary than what Kup might do, so he putters out that way, platforming off various ships, cheekily waving to the pilots, a pair of cat-like nuns, as he goes. Sweepcraft maneuvers aggressively, jinking up and down, performing quarter rolls to veer around slower-moving commercial ships and evade the worst of the Steelhaven's latest barrage. A few merchant vessels get singed by errant plasma as he passes by, but they're the ones that are operating without Decepticon 'protection' anyway, so what does he care. Finally, when it seems like the Autobot ship has relented, Brigand spins and heads in again for another pass. This time he approaches from behind and then darts along one side, the one just vacated by Nightbeat. Since he's in position he notices Nightbeat heading for the transport vessel that is under their 'protection'. "Oh no you don't!" he shouts, also transmitting over several frequencies the Autobots and Decepticons tend to use (mostly for trash-talking). "I called dibs already!" He fires his own lasso, trying to snag Nightbeat and jerk him back from the smuggler. Combat: Sweepcraft misses Nightbeat with his Laser Lasso attack! Sweepcraft curses as his lasso can't find a projection to latch onto. At least, not in immediate range. <> he says. He opens fire with his disruptors, aiming for an engine and hoping to disable it. Combat: Sweepcraft misses Autobot Heavy Cruiser with his Disruptor attack! Kup barks, "Dammit, that fire's coming too close to the civilians! Watch what the frag yer doin'!" at the gunnery crew, who mumble apologies as they re-focus their sensors on the Sweeps. "That one!" Kup yells. "He's trying to lasso up Nightbeat! Not on my fraggin' watch! I ain't done with him yet!" Multiple laser turrets align themselves towards Sunder, carefully trying to pick him off without hitting Nightbeat, the ship he's on, or anyone that's not supposed to die, and the laser show begins. Combat: Autobot Heavy Cruiser misses Sweepcraft with its Point-Defense Lasers attack! -3 Nightbeat manages to evade the lasso, ducking under a small pleasure yacht, to the dismay of the salty old space captain. The detective swings over toward another ship, steadily approaching the 'protected' ship in some weird form of reverse Frogger. <> Combat: Nightbeat sets his defense level to Protected. Nightbeat says, "Kup! Careful where you're aiming, boss." Kup says, "I'm *trying.*" Sweepcraft barks in frustration as his lasso locks onto the yacht Nightbeat just ducks behind, the energy beam fusing into the sleek metal hull. "Slaggit!" he barks. "These things are useless! Buying in bulk has let me down again!" He ejects his lasso generator with a tiny CLUNK, leaving it to float in space before the beam snaps taught and the entire mechanism is pulled along behind the yacht. Brigand himself zooms straight at the Steelhaven again. "Direct approach, eh? Well all right, I can give it...ahh, who am I kidding. Direct just isn't my style!" He transforms into robot mode, wings spreading out wide as he tries to land on the side of the ship, dig his claws in and secure himself to the ship. Maybe he'll have better luck hitting it at close range. Brigand shifts into his robot mode. Combat: Brigand sets his defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Brigand strikes Autobot Heavy Cruiser with his Claws attack! Combat: You took 3 damage. Sweepcraft decides to go after Nightbeat. Transforming, he lashes out with his talons, baring his fangs and snarling over the shortrange. <> Sunder shifts into his fearsome-looking robot mode. Combat: Sunder misses Nightbeat with his talon swipe (Punch) attack! Autobot Heavy Cruiser points at the screen. "Nightbeat's complainin' about the shots comin' too close, and you missed the damn Sweep! Accelerate towards that damn smugglin' ship, tighten up those damn sensors, and fire again! Do I need to do this for you people!?" Lips quivering, numerous Autobot gumbies smash commands into their respective consoles, hoping to get luckier. Which Sweep were they supposed to shoot at again? Honestly, it's hard to tell. They settle for shooting both of them. Combat: Autobot Heavy Cruiser strikes Brigand with its Point-Defense Lasers Area attack! -5 Combat: Autobot Heavy Cruiser strikes Sunder with its Point-Defense Lasers Area attack! -5 Nightbeat's name in Hungarian is 'Night Hunter', no lie. He grabs onto the chain of a space-tug that is pulling a much larger barge of bootleg Optimus Prime toys that can't even transform, swings around it, and flings himself toward the ship that the Sweeps are guarding, only a few ship-jumps away now. <> Brigand gets riddled with point-defense lasers. Looks like that 'point blank range' thing works both ways. He reaches behind his back, then seemingly from nowhere pulls out a large multi-barelled rifle, so large and unwieldy he has to keep one hand on the small bucket handle on the top to keep it balanced. "Fish? Ponds? Bait?! Uh...okay, now you're starting to lose me. I'm just a simple Sweep. But even I know that you guys won't be able to catch us -or- our transport vessels without this ship!" The rifle spools up and spins, then unleashes a torrent of white-hot tracers that stream over the hull of the Steelhaven. Combat: Brigand strikes Autobot Heavy Cruiser with his Vulcan Rifle attack! Combat: You took 7 damage. Hot Topic? Sunder is not goth! Or, he wouldn't be if he knew what that was. He warms up his Headblaster and aims it at Nightbeat, intending to stall or stop him. He yelps as the ship's guns lance his armor, which may cause his shot to go wide... Combat: Sunder strikes Nightbeat with his Laser Blaster attack! Kup frowns as he's jostled in his chair from the impacts of the bullets. "That fraggin' Decepticon's carvin' us up one second and stitchin' naughty words into our hull the next. When the frag are you idiots gonna shoot his aft down?" "B-but Kup," complains one of the crewmembers. "We hit him last time!" "See if I give a frag!" Kup yells, slamming a fist down onto the armrest of his command chair. "You obviously didn't hit him hard enough! Try the plasma! That oughta cook him good!" Insanely large plasma turrets groan as they pivot towards Brigand, and disgorge huge blasts of superheated gases at him. "Fat chance of shootin' US down, Decepticon!" Kup snarks over general frequencies. Combat: Autobot Heavy Cruiser strikes Brigand with its Plasma Turret attack! -5 Nightbeat gets shot and smacked into the side of a garbage scow. He cries out in pain, but no one can hear him scream in a vacuum. It's of the better, really. The detective climbs into the garbage bin of the skow to try to shake off the pain and get himslf back in order for the next jump. He snaps, <> as the plasma nails the Sweep. Beautiful. Nightbeat says, "Good shot!" Saboteur Foxfire says, "What's up, Nightbeat?" Kup says, "Eh. Flattery ain't gonna getcha nowhere." Brigand has a second to pan his gaze across the various plasma turrets zeroing in on him. "Oh fraa--" KABLAAM! The Sweep is literally blasted off of his perch on the Steelhaven's hull, his winged, smoldering form left in the wake of the giant Autobot ship. He transforms into his Sweepcraft form again, large panels scorched and whole sections still smoking. "Argh! This isn't working! Sunder, let's get out of here! We can't take this kind of firepower on in a head-on fight!" He turns and flares his engines, darting for the highest concentration of civilian ships he can find and then weaving his way through them to give himself some cover as he makes his way back to the surface of Pz-Zazz. And what about the poor smugglers the Decepticons led up here? Well, they knew the risks. Brigand shifts into his Sweepcraft mode. Combat: Brigand sets his defense level to Protected. Nightbeat says, "Ain't flattery." Combat: Sweepcraft begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Autobot Heavy Cruiser Saboteur Foxfire says, "What're you guys talking about?" Sunder is forced to agree with his twin. With Brigand already having taken his leave, he cannot defend the smugglers' craft alone. <> he hisses over the shortrange to his foes, <> He transforms and departs with his twin. Sunder's head disappears into his chest, his wings fold around him, and now he is in Sweepcraft mode, his headcannon still visible. Combat: Sweepcraft begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit. Kup scowls, watching the Decepticons depart. "Should we... pursue, sir?" one of the crewmembers ventures. "Nah, leddem go," Kup says. "Let's focus on bringin' that ship in for an inspection. Get the boarding team ready." Over comms, Kup asks Nightbeat, "Hey, tired 'a hopping around out there, Detective? Was pretty funny watchin' ya go from ship to ship." Kup scowls, watching the Decepticons depart. "Should we... pursue, sir?" one of the crewmembers ventures. "Nah, leddem go," Kup says. "Let's focus on bringin' that ship in for an inspection. Get the boarding team ready." Over comms, Kup asks Nightbeat, "Hey, tired 'a hopping around out there, Detective? Was pretty funny watchin' ya go from ship to ship." Brigand travels through local space to the Private Medium Orbit - Pz-Zazz. Brigand has left. Sunder travels through local space to the Private Medium Orbit - Pz-Zazz. Sunder has left. Nightbeat radios back, cocky, <> He pops out of the garbage scow and finally leaps over to ship for 'inspection'. With loaded weaponry. Y'know, in case they try anything funny, like blowing up the ship on him. Autobot Heavy Cruiser comes to a halt directly in the path of the smuggler ship, and, since the Steelhaven is obviously far more likely to survive a collision between the two, the smugglers fire retro thrusters as well, cutting their velocity. Kup replies, <> Nightbeat shrugs and looks for a back hatch into the smuggling vessel - the smugglers know he's coming, no sense making it easy for them. Nightbeat assures, <> Kup barks at the communications officer with, "Tell the damn smugglers that if they pull anything, they should remember that we got capital-class weapons on this thing and we could blow their rig to smithereens with two shots, if that." Radioing Nightbeat, he says, <> Nightbeat starts to ask, <> tailing you, Kup, but he doesn't finish, because he can think of an awful lot of reasons. Also, if Kup vapes the smuggling ship, he vapes Nightbeat, too, which may not be a big loss to Kup, but Muzzle's family, at least, would get that card they've always been dreading. Finding a back hatch, he tries to blow the hinges, hoping that the smuggles don't need atmosphere too much. Kup continues with, <<...took me several tries with the catapult but I eventually got him. Was a good thing he couldn't go above 200 feet...>> The door is blasted off easily enough. Ooh, look, an airlock. Ok, so the occupants aren't suffocate just yet, not until Nightbeat breaches the SECOND door. Nightbeat is another word for a detective, but he radios Kup, <> Nightbeat's still an Autobot, and they have protocols to follow. It's what seperates them from the Decepticons. <> Kup replies. Nightbeat can probably feel a lot of panicked thumping echoing through the hull of the ship. Nightbeat puts one audio to the second hatch. No sound carries in a vaccum, but it'll carry through a hatch door well enough, if he really presses up against it. He listens for the smugglers to get their blasted spacesuits on, and then he takes that photon pistol and tries to blow off the hinges of that second airlock door. "BLEE! BLEE BLEE BLEE!" screech the aliens inside, though it's tad muffled through the cheap pressure suits they're wearing. It's hard to tell what species they are with the suits on, but they look mini-bot sized, and somewhat furry through the glass plates of their visors. "BLEE BLEE BLEE!" they cry again, fumbling about as Nightbeat enters, sucking their air out. One tries to reach for a gun, but his fingers, clad in the thick suit, can't get a grip on it, and the gun clatters to the floor instead. In the land of the pressure suits, the naked robot is king! Nightbeat grins and announces over a general shortwave radio frequency that their pressure suits should probably pick up, <> He squints. Hard to tell. <> The aliens' heads droop as they resign themselves to their unenviable fate. And back on the Steelhaven, one of the bridge crew jokes, "Looks like the only thing they'll be smuggling from now on is themselves, to JAIL!" This elicits laughter from the other Autobots until Kup yells, "Shut the frag up! That was a stupid joke!" Awkward silence follows.